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bursting into tears when reading The Friend by Sigrid Nunez. Not those sorrowful ones but out of rage. This is the reason I stopped reading/watching fictions after I pulled myself away from you. They are triggering, but even so I wouldn’t think it’d be such a close resemblance. such as how you can’t be alone, that you rarely sleep alone in years. how you prey on people’s admiration and vulnerability with your knowledge and m entor position. even the casual demeanor5 It’s painful to read she went through the agony and reconciled with him it doesn’t require him to lift a finger, which angers me. What’s worse is who can I confide with about how I feel, what I went through with this book? You, and only you. Because I often have a hard time being friends with those who’s sentimental and cultured enough to understand the state of being moved by art works. They often find me too harsh, disregarding their sentiments for their “bubbles ” and I find them incapable of recognizing the fact/truth. whether you like the fact/truth or not that’s a separate topic / irrelevant However incapable is just insufferable. It took me a long time to start to accept, sort of, that it would be extremely unlikely to have meaningful exchange between people who do not have a matching level of i ntellect capacity. It’d be just as ridiculous as Olympians plays with me, someone who’s clumsy at sports. That could not be quantified as a game. 想起P有次說科學家和(純)藝術家其實很相似 they just differ in their means 再怎麼無法認同價值觀 也無法否認他思考能力的優秀 這句話毫無疑義證明這點 (S holds doctorate in science and has extensive knowledge and appreciation for a rts, after all he was coming from B.A. not B.S.) …. I guess trying to match the surface is never the answer. that’s where the mismatch coming from. 某個程度上我不太理解為什麼那在對方眼裡算是磨合的範圍 甚至不知道why/what I am responsible for things (their assumption) that I didn’t even request / or consider as a requirement. There is something that doesn’t align at all but I still couldn’t quite fathom . --
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