看板joke
其實英文也是很奇怪的...我幾年前看過所以應該是大OP(? 但是覺得有趣所以讓
我OP一下XDDD
------
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in
England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is
teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose,
2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English
speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and
send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim
chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull gown? Met a sung hero or
experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated,
gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring
chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can
burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in
which an alarm goes off by going on.
: 某老外苦學漢語 10 年，到東方參加漢語考試。 試題為請解釋下列句子。
: 1. 冬天：能穿多少穿多少； 夏天：能穿多少穿多少。
: 2. 剩女產生的原因有兩個： 一是誰都看不上， 二是誰都看不上。
: 3. 捷運裡聽到一個女孩大概是給男朋友打電話，“我已經快到西一門了，
: 你快出來往捷運站走。如果你到了，我還沒到，你就等著吧。
: 如果 我到了，你還沒到，你就等著吧。”
: 4.單身人的來由：原來是喜歡一個人，現在是喜歡一個人。
: 5.兩種人容易被甩:一種不知道什麼叫做愛，一種不知道什麼叫做愛。
: 6.想和某個人 在一起的兩種原因:一種是喜歡上人家，另一種是喜歡上人家。
: 7.一個男同事和一個女同事上班同時遲到，但女的沒被扣薪水，男的被扣了， 男的就問
: 女同事“你為什麼沒有被扣薪水？”女的說：“因為我睡過頭了。 ”男的說：“我也睡
: 過頭了呀。
: 老外淚流滿面，交白卷回國了
: 又過了十年，老外苦練漢學，又再度挑戰漢語的博大精深
: 試題為
: 請解釋下文中每個「意思」的意思。
: 阿呆給長官送紅包時，兩個人的對話頗有意思。
: 長官：「你這是什麼意思？」
: 阿呆：「沒什麼意思，意思意思。」
: 長官：「你這就不夠意思了。」
: 阿呆：「小意思，小意思。」
: 長官：「你這人真有意思。」
: 阿呆：「其實也沒有別的意思。」
: 長官：「那我就不好意思了。」
: 阿呆：「是我不好意思。」
: 老外再度淚流滿面回國...
--
◆ From: 211.74.62.218
※ 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/joke/M.1374886663.A.00F.html
→ OHLALALALA:未看先猜樓下會說快推 07/27 09:19
→ keiwei520:未看先猜一樓會說樓下快推 07/27 09:30
→ BaXeS:未看先猜二樓會說一樓會說樓下快推 07/27 09:37
→ aoe7250350:未看先猜三樓也會說二樓會說一樓會說樓下快推 07/27 09:48
→ muds:未看先猜四樓會說三樓會說二樓會說一樓會說樓下快推 07/27 10:04
推 LIAN5024:茄子 eggplant 07/27 13:21
推 jkiop79315:以第一段的邏輯 太陽餅也沒太陽阿... 07/27 15:25
→ jkiop79315:語言的形成本來就不是非常嚴謹的編制.... 07/27 15:27
→ popopoman7:未看先猜五樓會說四樓會說三樓會說二樓會說一樓會說樓 07/28 19:42